brothels, clients, discrimination, forums, online, personal stories, punters, rants, reviews, safe sex, sex industry, Sex Work, south australia, the boss
Once upon time about back when local hookers were just beginning to utilise the internet for business, i met a Annie. She was a tech savvy sex worker with an established online identity who introduced me to a whole new world. She showed me around sex industry forums, review sites and advertising options. It was all new to me and i spent hours reading the various posts and reviews engrossed in this ‘client community’. It felt like i was gaining some kind of inside knowledge about the industry, the workers and our clients. As i read the candid comments by the anonymous ‘punters’ as they refer to themselves, I felt like i was getting a true sense of what clients think, a real insight, a glimpse of our industry from their perspective. I was excited to see if anyone had reviewed me, so i searched my name, but i didnt find any mention. I began to check back regularly looking for my name but i was also curious to read what clients were thinking and saying.
Being the talkative and opinionated whore i am, i didnt last as a voyeur for long. I started joining in with some of the forum conversations, using my work name, keeping my comments sweet and fluffy and trying my best to stay endearing and in character. It wasnt always easy and plenty of times i had to bite my tongue (or sit on my hands as the case maybe) to stop myself getting into heated debate and risk turning potential clients off. I didnt always succeed.
It was only after i began to advertise occasionally online that i got my first review. When I saw my name I felt almost famous. I read the post and breathed a sigh of relief that it was a positive review. Other clients had commented on the in response, all expressing their interest in seeing me as a result of this recommendation. I felt full of confidence and in demand. I had always had return business and good feedback from my clients in the past but for some reason this felt different, I read it over and over. I had no idea who it was that reviewed me, it could have been anyone and i started me wondering which of my bookings would result in the next review. I kept checking back at the forum to find out the latest gossip and see what they were saying about me. Out of curiosity I read the other workers reviews feeling envious of their outstanding reputations or sympathetic when it wasnt so good.
It wasnt long before i got my second review. It was another good one, followed by more comments from clients who were keen to see me. But reading this review didnt give the same thrill, actually it made me feel uncomfortable. It went into specific gory detail, giving a blow by blow account of his time with me and the service he received. It was almost like reading a tacky story from a picture mag and I couldnt help but cringe. This time i knew which client had written the review because he described the passionate kisses and the extra 10 minutes that I gave him, which was not part of my standard service. That worried me too, I had clicked with this particular client but I didnt want everyone making appointments expecting the same type of service. I realised though, that i was lucky. It could have gone the other way. If he happened to rub me the wrong way, his service might have felt forced and rushed and I could have just as easily gotten a bad review. I thought about the workers who had received bad reviews and felt bad for them. It could happen to any of us, and if a good review has the power to triple my confidence i didnt want to know how it felt to be criticised and insulted in this space.
Sometimes I would read a review that frustrated me. I couldnt believe how indiscreet some clients could be. I would be blinking my eyes with disbelief while i read in detail, how a particular worker at a massage only establishment had offered sex, even though it was against the rules of the business. Or how another worker had offered oral without a condom for extra money even though that was not allowed at the brothel she worked at. These careless clients were so busy gloating about the extra services they got, they didnt seem to understand the potential ramifications for the workers. Apart from having to deal with every man and his dog showing up expecting the same type of extra service described, one of these “good” reviews could result in the worker loosing her job or being ostracised by the other workers.
After that second review, i started getting enquiries from people who made mention of the forum and my reviews. I felt popular and was thankful for the extra business. But every time a forum punter made a booking i felt anxious. Will this be my next reviewer? I began feeling like they were all writing their reviews in their head during the service. Im trying to be sexy as I strip my clothes off and they are judging my body and face, Im rubbing my naked body against them and they are busy scoring my massage, Im trying to be sensual while i go down on them and they are rating my blow job. I was imagining them all scoring each aspect of my looks and service out of 10. It made me self conscious and put me off. Ironically, if i thought they were a potential review writer, their service would suffer.
I still managed to get a couple more good reviews and for a while it seemed like i was the flavour of the month. I was the one to see. But it didnt last. Before long all the forum punter started looking for the next hot tip. The 5 or 6 regular reviewers had seen and written about me already and now all their posts were asking about new recommendations or talking about who new is good and where. And i was old news. Which is fine. I mean at first I was frustrated because I had been reviewed so well, I had done nothing wrong but they still seemed intent on moving on. But I didnt let it get to me, my business wasnt suffering, sure there had been a slight spike during the height of my forum sweetheart days, but it was still steady, no quieter than it had been before the positive reviews. I realised these forum punters were a bonus to my business and not our bread and butter.
A while later I came into contact with a worker who was fairly new to the industry and was incredibly concerned with what they were saying about her online. She, like me, had been the flavour of the month but her stint ended abruptly when she got a nasty scathing review. It really knocked her confidence. I begged her to stop reading, but she couldnt stop worrying about it, trying to figure out how to get back on the good side of the online forum punters. She was beating herself up trying to guess where she went wrong, what she didnt do right, or who was behind the bad review. It really got to her. In her desperation to please them all, she gave them all her power. She began thinking of herself as a failure which affected her business and the whole thing spiraled out of control.
I stopped visiting the forums and searching for my name among the reviews and I became less invested in the punters community. After reading about the situation for sex workers in Hong Kong and just how toxic these review sites can get, I decided they are not healthy for sex workers, and I made a point to avoid them.
I know for some sex workers, avoiding ‘client community’ and review websites is not always possible. Im sure that for some workers, like those in Hong Kong mentioned in the article above, engaging in these forums is an essential part of their business plan. But for many more of us, its just not necessary. Most of the time, we dont need to hear it. Its not fair or balanced. we have no right of reply, and we dont even know who is behind those screen names! Sometimes its not even a genuine client. It could be our competition, a vengeful ex, or anyone with a grudge. It could be the online equivalent of those douchebags that get their kicks by visiting brothels for intros, just so they can reject all the workers there. We need to remind ourselves that most of our clients arent reading those forums. If we have repeat business, and we are happy with the service we provide its probably best to stay away.
And with that in mind, I invite our clients to consider how they use such forums. I completely understand why you would want to read reviews about a worker before you spent a large amount of money. I do the same with accommodation, with movies, with holidays and restaurants. And i guess i understand why you might want to write a review about your experience good or bad. I have wanted to share my inside knowledge about particular hotels with other travelers, however, lets be clear, giving my breasts a score out of 10 is not providing inside knowledge. Its also not helpful because its subjective and your taste in breasts is not relevant. I understand that some people might write a review in order to warn others about their dissatisfaction with a service they received. But in the same way as you would if you were sent the wrong meal or over charged in a restaurant, you should give the worker the chance to resolve their mistake before you rush home to tell your murky mates. If you havent given them this option, perhaps dont vilify them online. Tastes and expectations of sex workers vary so much they may not even realise you were not happy.
Given there is probably limited opportunity for clients to share stories about their experiences with sex workers, I guess some people write reviews as an opportunity to debrief or vent. If thats the case why do you have to name the worker, list their contact details, link to their website etc. And why is there such a tight community of outspoken regular posters on these forums? I cant imagine being as emotionally invested in tripadvisor.com as some of these posters are. Be careful that your online punter gang isnt being used to bully workers or to share information in order to prey on vulnerable workers … “I know she has been desperate to make money lately, if you threaten to walk i bet you could knock $50 off her price” (actual quote i saw not that long ago on a popular punter forum)
Just keep in mind when you are reading or writing reviews in these forums, they have the potential to not just effect our business but they can also seriously effect our self esteem.
And for those of us on the other end of the reviews, remember there is nothing to gain from hearing the boys club compare notes trying to outdo each other. It has been my (limited) experience that we are much better off focusing on the people who are paying us RIGHT NOW.
Many workers also don’t realise that many of these escort review boards also have “secret areas” that punters can gain access to with a certain number of reviews. These areas are not visible to workers.
PP has 2 such groups, the star masters lounge and the den
Here punters regale each other with even more graphic and sometimes personal details and discuss all parts of a service often in a very crude and crass manner with no respect to the service provider.
Here are the no holds bared reviews, with all manner of illegal services listed
I think its disgusting that there are areas where workers have no recourse or right of reply like in the general forum (you can message owner of forum and give your side and he will investigate)
I disagree Amy. I was given access to the Star masters Lounge on Punter Planet a few weeks ago and I haven’t seen anything on there like you describe. Do you have access there yourself? If not, how do you know the content?
rja227, so…. why DO clients need or want a ‘secret’ internet space to communicate with each other where workers are not able to see?
What sort of information are you sharing that you dont want workers to see, and more concerningly, WHY dont you want workers to see it.
And just out of curiosity (cos as i said i make a point of not visting these forums) what do ‘punters’ have to do to get access to these secret spaces.
raj227, I know workers who have seen comments posted, seen printouts, or been told by their clients who are members. It’s pretty well known amongst workers who use the net. It’s even been made clear on the forums themselves that content in these secret areas Is not the same as on general forum and as you move up the “ranks” you get to see more and more detailed reviews.
I have no reason to disbelieve colleagues who have seen this content. I have seen stuff cut and pasted from there (any secret area will always have leaks as punters seek to curry favour by disclosing or just feel that workers have a right to know what is being written about them). There is certainly a lower level of respect, and many demeaning terms are accepted as normal.
Perhaps you don’t have enough reviews or have not been invited to the more secret areas yet.
In many ways these secret areas are just a continuation of the “men’s clubs” were women were banned…it’s a place blokes can beat their chests and brag to each other, and where they can say what they like about a worker without fear of reprisal or worry that a service provider (or many) would ban them for their comments.
Believe it or not service providers use forums to screen punters just like punters use it to find good providers. Service providers will carefully read previous reviews and the tone, content and whether respectful language was used, and what services a punter raves about or indulges in order to determine if he is the type of client they would wish to see.
So just because you claim you havnt seen anything like I describe, just means you don’t have access to those areas where the no holds barred stuff gets posted and discussed. It dosnt mean just because you havnt seen it that it dosnt exist,…I have seen too many printouts and screen captures to know that’s simply not true.
My comment on ‘baby just think….’ is sort of related to this, I worried that i’d been indiscreet but looking back it was ok. Thanks for not deleting.
Can I say I really enjoyed reading ‘the who’s who of punter forums’.
In the UK there’s this website called AdultWork.com and if you live in London it’s the easiest way of finding sexual services, basically Escorts advertise there and Clients trawl the pages for ‘what catches their eye’ and is cheap. Then if you want to book her all you have to do is become a Member which allows you to Review her performance, easy as that! I’ve discovered three Escorts like this but never rated or reviewed them because in my own simple reasoning it seems tacky and btw that goes for Forums as well, but I still read them!
Well I never went back to the South American Escort I talked of earlier but many many months ago I put her name into Google and discovered Punters had written a lot of interesting things about her. Chiefly that at the same time I was seeing her and paying £200/hr other men were seeing her for £140/hr, lol I couldn’t fucking believe that one! I suppose I could have mentioned it but never did, £200 was her advertised website rate, she had her reasons and I certainly wasn’t going to embarrass myself by haggling. Still it was bloody hard to accept and I’ve often thought, like you’ve just demonstrated, she’d have known I read the Forums and probably knew I knew, but didn’t care such is life. I do find her double standards interesting though, just shows Escorting has nothing to do with truth and honesty, stating the obvious ‘it’s all about the money’.
Why charge me more? Well like I said her glossy website states £200, but on AdultWork there’s this service called Reverse Booking, where a Client advertises a specific date place and time when he wants a Prostitute. Then I suppose what happens is Escorts keep an eye on the message board and if they’re in his area they can ‘bid’ amongst each other, anyways the result is the Client gets her cheaper than normal, only drawback is it’s pot luck who turns up and I’d say the old adage ‘you get what you pay for’ applies.
Still back to Forums, I suppose if business is slow then my South American Escort ‘bids for tricks’ and interestingly she’s always got very good reviews. However and this must really anger her, one particular Forum showed photographs comparing the real ‘her’ as against the ‘glossy photo shopped her’ and looking at them side by side the difference was quite funny, no way was she aged 26 more like 40 suffice to say there’s a few angry men out there. Yes she’s seen better days and the figure’s worse but she is friendly kind and rather sweet, which is what Clients really want? However if this ‘discrepancy’ is the reason for letting her Flat go and closing her website down then she’s only herself to blame, but my guess is she’s getting on a bit and having trouble competing with Eastern European Prostitutes who are younger better looking and will do everything for £100/hr. I digress.
Now if I was ever going to see an Escort ‘blind’, which I won’t again, then I’d book on-line so giving me the recourse of writing a Revue, I suppose it boosts the ego lol knowing thousands of punters WILL read it. Brief story, last year I saw this Escort on AW and should have heeded my advice, to cut a long story short she was unwilling to do any of the things she advertised and before you ask I WAS clean polite undemanding etc but maybe she was having a bad day. Now as you can imagine afterwards I wasn’t happy (I left nicely without reacting), in fact the injustice (none) still annoys me but that just shows the thought processes of a sexual abuser, she wouldn’t let me touch her pussy which is perfectly reasonable. Anyways looking back I’ve often thought the booking would have been a whole lot different if she KNEW I would later complain about her attitude then write a scathing ‘Field Report’. Thinking about it it could have finished her, never thought of that before.
But of course a Punter who thinks like this is SELFISH and NASTY because if you’re a lowlife like me who purchased the use of a body for his sexual gratification then you have to accept the way she reacts good or bad. It’s not like buying a faulty Fridge, no Prostitution is as close to sexual abuse as it gets without inflicting fear as well. Miss-selling is a bitter expensive pill to swallow but no excuse for taking your revenge on the internet. The way i see it, if she’s letting me fuck her whilst fearing a bad review then that as close to rape as you’re ever going to get.
I should add I’m not being flippant with the use ‘lowlife sexual abuser’, I haven’t paid for sex for a long time and we’ll see what happens.
Andrew, hunny, you need to chill. Your comments amuse me, i enjoy your honesty even if i dont always like what your saying. I could write a whole blog post in response to what you have written but instead im just going to respond to a couple of your points. 1. You are able to delete your own comments at anytime if you are unhappy with them, i only delete spam and advertising comments. 2. There are many reasons escorts might charge different prices. Perhaps she put her prices up recently and allowed her previous regs to continue paying the old price. Or maybe as you say they are are more convenient bookings (at a time and place that suits her rather than you – i know some workers charge less during the daytime) maybe the service is somehow different to yours, or maybe its just cos your willing to pay it. I have a client who i see every week on my way into work, in my day clothes and cos he is a regular and i dont need go to any effort he gets a great price. There are soooo soooo sooo many reasons we might charge different prices. You know, you could just ask her? Its like you want the whole fantasy and smoke and mirrors while your having your service but then you obsess over it outside of your booking trying desperately to see how we are doing the tricks. You need to make your mind up, do you want the fantasy or do you want real? Either is fine, but probably cant expect both. And to be honest, please dont take this the wrong way, but from how much i can see you over thinking your time with sex workers, you sound a bit like hard work, i probably wldnt be offering you a discount either. 3. If there are particular services you want and you have asked for them when negotiating your booking and it was agreed to, then you have every right to expect them. If on the day she doesnt want to do them, your right, its not good form to pressure her or threaten her with a bad review, but you can let her know that you feel she misrepresented her service and i dont see a huge problem with you posting a simple short review that said something basic like ‘agreed to a particular service before booking but then wouldnt do it’ with the purpose of alerting others to this potential practice,rather as some sort of revenge, but no need to post a long ranting and personal attack of a review like some would. 4. I feel like im detecting some internalised shame regarding paying for sex. Thats a long journey to work through those deeply ingrained beliefs but, i dont think its healthy to feel shame. You are doing nothing wrong by doing busines with someone advertising her services. Where would we be without our paying clients? Stop feeling guilty, ee need you! You are right though its not the same as buying a used washing machine, and you do need to take the good with the bad and accept a lot of it is down to personal tastes and personal connections, find a worker who you like and connect with and stick to her or play the feild and enjoy the thrill of the unkown (good and bad) . But regardless you have a right to expect a basic service that was negotiated and if you dont recieve it you have a right to complain, that doesnt make you like a rapist or sexual abuser at all, they could offer your money back or something,. BUT you do need to learn to let go and walk away when its done and not obsess over minor details. I feel like its doing your head in.
Thank you for the response, the one worry I have when writing a comment is will my honesty put you off from writing I do hope not, is it better to write from the heart and may offend or tell you what I think you’d like to hear? I prefer honesty even if I am a bit of a ‘glass half empty’ sort of man and yes the words “I know I am hard work” have been actually said to my brother in a heart to heart, I should note we weren’t talking about seeing Prostitutes Hookers or Whores! As a side note my Sister In Law once borrowed my mobile when she went to Hospital you know one of those days where something happens and we all rush around trying to sort the problem out. It was only minutes later that I remembered my inbox and outbox contained names and messages like ‘see you soon lover’ and ‘it’s £200 angel’ my heart missed a beat. Now I think she knows something’s going on, there was a slight smile when she handed back the phone but nothing has ever been said.
I do so enjoy reading blogs written by four very honest Escorts one of which I have seen and I actually posted a thank you and best wishes when she announced she was retiring, I’m not a troll sitting in front of a Laptop hating on people, no I work socialise and surf the net like the majority though probably not for sex and every so often I come back to reading about the lives of sex workers, the entries are fascinating reading but I’m not obsessive just a sort of need for knowledge. Btw asking why an Escort charges me more instead of stewing on injustice is an interesting observation, I’m someone who hates ‘a scene’ or offending people so I think I’ll leave it at she has her reasons, trying to work out how the tricks work is a very very good reason for stopping and go finding a girlfriend.
One of the completely by chance benefits is I hear things about myself or learn a truth from an actual Prostitute and not some feminist calling me a silent rapist, I know the liaisons are fantasy and a place where I’ll be upset with home truths, an Escort is never going to judge and annoy a Client is she, so the answer is enjoy the fantasy don’t think too much and yes don’t worry if she’s unhappy, an interesting observation ‘where would we be without clients?’. THE adorable blond who works 2 days a week laying on her back for £200/hr has 5 days off to go shopping or look after the children I do actually get that as long as you take time and care choosing an Escort then chances are she’s selling sex for a good reason, none of my business if life outside isn’t ideal is it, who’s life is? She, by the way has amazing Feedback and Clients have wonderful things to say about her, I have been toying for quite a while whether to see her again or not.
Anyways I have a feeling you understand what makes a man tick knowing we all have issues resulting from paying to use a woman’s body, blunt but if I’m honest it’s what I pay for and you’ll have seen guilt and introspection all before, on one hand you’ll have the hobbyists the single the lonely the abusive the guilty married man and then you’ll have the cheery carefree who call round, pay for a fuck and thank you till next time when they leave.
I think I’ve written too much, all I hope for from my Comments is that you believe they’re truthful, Andrew
Your article is amazing. A lot of the guys have no life outside of review boards. Their main objective is to dehumanize escorts. I believe this is because, they feel it isn’t fair that we as woman are allowed to be compensated for something they would do for free. I also think we should be allowed to respond to reviews and have a chace to challenge reviews. Some guys are even writing fake reviews for
free memberdship perks. It’s quite sad
Love this post. Finally the real deal. I confess I love escorts and whores. With all do respect. People with mean reviews are just people unhappy. Don’t worry about them. I lost my virginity to a whore because I was to shy to met a girl n cared to much what she thought of me. So my friends took me to a whore. Who guided me and gave a girl friend experience and built my confidence in showing me how to make love. She didn’t care weather I was good or bad but she made sure before I left I knew what I was doing. I thank you whores what you do. Seriously thank you.
The need for review websites, particularly for new or inexperienced clients, would be considerably lessened if service providers, agencies and reception staff did not routinely fudge facts or tell outright lies about descriptions, who’s available and price (especially with inconsistent extras). Perhaps sites that just had a pro forma to cover off the factual details would be better.
Have you ever tried to resolve an isuuue after a session? I did, once, when I was young and dumb. I was back from an army exercise, freshly showered and shaved, paid for an hour and the lass was out the room after 35 minutes. When I queried this with the receptionist on my way out (in a very polite and meek manner) instead of engaging constructively the archetypical big tattooed bikie lookalike loomed out if the shadows and threatened to toss me down the stairs if I did not exit the premises forthwith.
Like all things neither “side” has a monopoly on angels or devils but a little more self regulation by people in the industry and board members to act ethically and honestly will go a long way. So would decriminalisation!
And this is why I NEVER court forum members, they have never, ever made a difference to my bottom line. I wish more workers realised this. Lovely article. Thanks.
I for one have reviewed a good number of women and to extent I agree, there are (like with anything) a few bad eggs on review sites.
That said, these forums have been highly valuable for the consumer. Let me say that word again, consumer.
For a long time, the man with money has been burnt. Going on flimsy and sometimes fraudulent information of what a Sex Worker/Escort offers and feeling let down/cheated, and just having to cop it and wear a hole in the wallet.
There was really nowhere (pre-internet) to find out which girls really did offer a great service and who was there to cheat you out of your money for little effort.
If you were lucky, there might have been a ‘fellow punter’ at your workplace or sports club with who you could compare notes with – yes, even before the internet and ‘secret sections’, men would talk about service provider – shocking, I know!
Now the power is finally with the consumer. I can read reviews and by doing my research, find the right sex worker for my needs.
Like any review of any service/product, you take each reviewer with a grain of salt. Guys aren’t stupid, they’ll know who is just slagging off or which reviewer has a proven track record and reviews can be trusted.
I have written reviews that have been positive, neutral and negative.
For each negative review, I have clearly outlined each aspect of the date (including any good points) to advise my fellow consumers of why I felt let down by the particular service provider. They have all ranged from poor hygiene, negative attitude in the bedroom and being very late for a booking.
Due to my track record of mainly positive (and fair) reviews, I’ve been thanked over and over by my fellow consumers for saving them money and avoiding a ‘dud service’. Annoyingly I’ve also had consumers tell me they had suffered the same service or worse (including an Overdose episode). I told those people straight, put it all down in a review so consumers like myself are warned in advanced.
On the positive side, a few service providers I gave glowing reviews of for their excellent service – no illegal extras, just excellent service – they have all had 100% positive reviews since and all saw an increase in custom.
It does give thought if some service providers prefer to blog (and there are a number of them) about punters, rather then genuinely review their own service and see what they can do to improve OR just accept the fact (like anything in life) they just might not be good at this business as others are.
I do pick up on the point of a service provider offering a ‘little extra’ to one consumer and disappointed it had been included in a review, not wanting to offer it to others.
This was NOT the fault of the consumer, in fact, it was a DUMB BUSINESS DECISION by the service provider.
The consumer had unwittingly done the right thing. If you got more than you bargained for, of course you want to tell people positively about it.
Same if I went to a Harvey Norman and bought a TV and they said, “here, have a free DVD player to go with it”, I’d be wanting to tell everyone about it.
On the flipside, if I’m in the store and overhear a consumer get a free DVD player with his TV and I buy the same TV but are denied the free DVD player, I’m going to be pretty pissed off. Why is my money not as worthy as the other consumer’s?
The lesson here being, the service provider is a business. If she does not feel comfortable offering something to all consumers, then do not offer it at all.
In closing, the basic principles must be remembered, the service provider is the business and the punter/reviewer is the consumer.
The years of punters walking blindly into a brothel and hoping for the best are over. The internet has brought the consumers the power of knowledge. EVERY INDUSTRY has had to adapt as they know their product price/service can easily be compared against reviews or that of a competitor’s.
If a service provider cannot understand/handle the fact the she is a business and a consumer (like in any other industry) will be looking to get as much mile out of their dollar as possible, then they need to consider another career.
Lol there are many many clients who would disagree with you about not offering more to the occasional client you click with… i know a couple if mine who would. And I personally don’t believe the power is with clients. Certainly not in my service it’s not. And to be honest if you came to me with this entitled attitude you’d be getting a very average service. And I’d be getting a poor review. Would change nothing in my business cos those of my clients who appreciate and respect me are all getting an above average service and loving it…. and a few people who read ur review wld be missing out because of the attitude you gave me when they cld be really lovely and mighta got an amazing service. But i still got my my repeat business.. which I wldnt have if I treated every session like it’s going to be posted on the global toilet wall.. See we are not a product. We are human beings selling a diverse service involving human connection to other human beings who are equally diverse… But it’s cool… like I said in my post 100 times I don’t blame you for reading and writing reviews… just I don’t think we as sex workers have anything yo gain from interacting in these spaces and while it might help ensure the client has a more average service every service.. thats most likely all you will get… average. And we still have all the power, you only got the money…..
Also I’m not sure if ur comment about workers blogging was a dig at me and my blog. Pretty ridiculous if it was cos I can assure you I haven’t been writing my popular blog for 3 years just to seek vengeance for some forum drama via my talented writing skills .. believe it or not clients are not the target audience of this blog or even this post. Actually this post was mostly aimed at sex workers with an intended take home message of…. don’t get involved….
I know my first post will come off as arrogant and quite possibly this post will to, but I’d like to firstly point out that each woman I’ve seen, I have treated with the utmost respect. Anything ‘extra’ (extended time for example) I’ve been very appreciative.
What grinds my gears, is when I read (not just this blog, but in many other blogs from sex workers) is how they have a crack at Punter’s over their review. Some ‘maybe’ in denial that their service wasn’t as good as they make it out to be. I’ve paid for ‘what not was advertised’ a number of times, I feel it a duty to warn my fellow consumers.
Now you’ve stated “See we are not a product. We are human beings selling a diverse service involving human connection to other human beings who are equally diverse…”.
I’m afraid you are a product, money is being exchange for a service, thus a product of some description is being purchased/leased/whatever.
Let me give you another example. Have you bought a CD or mp3 track lately? We’ll that’s a product. However, just like you, there was a human involved. That musician put all their heart and soul, plus years of practice into that song/album to have a human connection with you. HOWEVER, at the end of the day, they know it’s a product they are selling.
As long as it’s working for you then great .. im just giving my perspective..on my own blog….. I’m not fussed whether you agree or not . That’s my point. And I’ll say this one more time… This blog is not related to any of my reviews I haven’t even been to one of those forums for more than 3 years… This blog is completely anonymous so everything you read on it is MY truth… without influence from commercial aspects. Take it or leave it. Whatever.
Dude u don’t need to get an artists express consent each and every time you listen to their song and if you steal a cd it’s not rape….. see the difference? I am not a product you can buy or lease. You might think your treating sex workers with respect but…. from this angle I can’t see it.
My personal experience with sex workers has been positive (and dare I say life enriching?). I won’t go into details, but my sex life as a young man was really bad. I am not bad looking, just went through a period of being very socially awkward.
I have had wonderfull experiences.There are also times were I wish I would have not entered the room. I prefered being a regular client to a few ladies that I got along well with. After a little more experimenting, I found out that was the way to go for me.I was not into meeting any more women who would refuse to miss out on their favorite tv show while I was fucking them!
I did get really close to one particular woman. We had some chemistry and it ended up in a “strange” area were we would text eachother, have unpaid overnights and I was wanting something more for sure. I later found out that she was pretty heavily adicted to heroin off and on. I wanted to stay with her but I could not give her money to destroy herself so I expresed this and gave her the oportuinity to contact me again. No dice there.
Anyways, to the origional subject of this posting I would like to add a few observations and opinions. I have never left a bad reveiw even though I should have at times perhaps. It was just like I couldn’t do something that I knew would have a bad effect on someones business. I would rather leave no reveiw. Its just something about doing a lady harm when she just got finished sharing her body with me…It does not seem right?
The forums were I live are kind of a mish mash of everything. You have your woman hating trolls, pimps, actual normal guys, budget workers, VIP’s all thrown into the same forums. I always hated the trash talk against the women, not becuase I am a lap dog or anything, it was just totally unnececarry.
I feel frustrated as a client sometimes because of the actions of other guys who just don’t “get it”. Its like just relax and have a good time and treat the lady like you would any other human being, with respect, its just beter that way. But no, asholes have to screw it up and then I walk into a situation were this girl should be taking the rest of the day off because of what just happened to her earlier that day. I remember some of the stories I heard from one of my regular apointments. Just crazy stuff that you would think could only be in movies. Being robed, agresive sex and just plain weird ass behavior.
In closing I would like to say thank you to all the women who do this by choice. Sometimes it is for good, and you do make a diference in someones life along with all the money you make 🙂
The Lady of Pleasure said:
Reblogged this on The Horribly Happy Hooker and commented:
I couldn’t agree more. Excellent post.
I have enjoyed reading your posts and the subsequent arguments abouts whose dick is bigger so I decided to cast mine with the accompaning two bits into the foray.
I am male who has enjoyed the pleasures of many, many a whore from all quarters of this planet and with some I am guilty of having been a whorelover. In 35 years I have been bait n switched only twice and for all the other whores that I did not come to love I daresay I had a good time even the ones I could not get an erection with or the ones I could not ejaculate with. I have never felt the need for another man’s recommendation or caution as I strongly believe one man’s food could be another man’s poison.
I agree that playing kiss and tell is demeaning, downright mean and shows little integrity or strength of charachter of the author. It would be illegal for employers to create datasharing sites to rank tradies and workers and cause loss of income for any individual based on unsubstatiated personal opinion. I ask these punters if they are above the law or if they are just exploiting the criminalization of sex work with the knowledge that there can be no repurcussions. But then you also have to remember that we men love our societies. Engineers, Doctors, Lawyers, Management professionals and now we have the Punters. We also mandate the achievement of a PhD in the science of analysing and ranking the physical attributes and sexual performance of a minimum number of subject whores before we are granted entry into the inner scrotum.
Thank goodness our whores aren’t as arrogant, zealous and likeminded infosharers. Fuck knows what you lassies would have to say about half our PhD’s
Anyway on a spiritual level, we must realize that punters and whores exist for each other. No one is superior or in charge or in control. But then like our societies we also need rules and regulations and we keep mithering about entitlements even in this beautiful debauched society that is so frowned upon by the other puritanical pricks.
If one thinks about choices Punters should remember that it takes two to tango so spare the lady if you’ve got two left feet. If you’ve got nothing good to say don’t say it.
Finally I believe as a Dick (punter) you can get a crap service, a good service, a real friendship or an earth shattering experience all for the same price but it’s down to Chemistry and how well you Tango. We are talking intimacy here.
Thumbs up to you 🙂 especially the last bit
I think the most disappointing thing I have discovered since digging deeper into what goes on behind the scenes, is the fact that a lot of them are heavily bias and rigged. I have heard stories of girls posing as punters to give other girls bad reviews, girls and agencies paying people off to submit reviews etc? At the end of the day a lot of girls rates can be very high and to me these site should be a true non-bias reflection of a girls service, to ensure a clients money is well spent? Because clients will therefore continue to get bad service experiences from been incorrectly reviewed positively and missing the girls who may have been reviewed badly for alternative motives. Creating more negative views for the good working girls to overcome.
Dan Gerous said:
I’ve had lots of “whores” throughout my life and let many them get the best of me for a very long time. Some of them I enjoyed for a while until they wouldn’t leave and I shouted, “Horbegon! Or go make me a sammich!” For some reason my sandwich never materialized and I usually passed out alone and hungry. Go figure. Some used me and dropped me like they did the dirty sex towel in the hamper. What can I say? Karma has a way of biting back. I’ve loved some, lusted after some, and been slightly embarrassed of one (although not anymore, that happened a long time ago).
The whores that get to me now are the average joes I meet in everyday life. I really try to turn the other cheek and have gotten better at it over the years. I’ve spent a lot of time (a LOT of time) telling people to go fuck themselves because their presence in my life was an inconvenience. I have now come to realize that treating someone like a piece of shit is not the best way to go through life. I’m absolutely certain that I have been a giant pain in the ass in other people’s lives. Just the other day I was driving, made a turn, ended up in the wrong lane, and nonchalantly cut off a whole line of cars. I’m pretty sure I heard someone shout “Son of a whore!” as I swerved out of a turn lane and went through the light. My point is I can be a whore, too. I honestly felt bad about it as it was unintentional (at least the cutting off of cars who had the clear right of way). From this seemingly insignificant incident, I learned that maybe I’m not Lord of the Lanes and I should probably be more courteous of other drivers.
I’m not perfect and never will be. Whores will be whores and I’m no different. It’s not the mosquito’s fault he’s a blood sucking pest that breeds disease. The best I can do is rid my life of my whores, and let the others sort themselves out. I won’t give up on women (I have, however, given up whoring), but I will try to better myself in order make the world a better place to live. Lots of things still bother me. I try to live and let live . I’ll still smash the fuck out of a mosquito, though…Horbegon!
An interesting combination; the oldest profession and the newest technology.
Personally, I never liked the idea of a review system.
Escort Torino said:
for me it`s 50-50 its good fo the guys couse as a man when ur loaded and looking for this kind of service u dont expect to get something else find someone else ,or worse get treated like shit, but for the girl`s side ur right u can never know when a punter call`s and if ur not in the mood or maybe u have one of those days when u dont feel like talking or taking ur time or having patience with ur client can ruin u,1 bad review and this could let u out of a big part of ur clients..
Reading ur post at first I just thought someone wrote abt me because I had the similar case as u. I knew a review abt me and that guy talked sth really nice abt me, both my body and my personality. The 2nd review was from someone who just described abt my service, which made me feel a little bad. I often just work part-time so most of my customers feel satisfied w my service .. And sometimes I also freaked out because maybe a worker out there has better service than me w the same price, but still, I have enough customers and have to deny some of them sometimes to stay healthy and focus on other things in my life.
Reblogged this on lylatournay12 and commented:
This girl speaks truth!
I don’t have any bad reviews…yet. But I’ve stopped going on to PunterPlanet as frequently as I did when I first started out in the private world. In short it depresses me.
Recently the SW gossip twitterverse has been occupied by an alleged assault against a sex worker by an associate of another well-known sex worker. Out of curiosity I looked up the alleged victim’s name on PP and the reviews about her were disparaging and graphic: pointing out the eczema on her hands, describing her as ‘doughy’ and going into detail about the smell. All the respondents were disgusted on his behalf and none of them pointed out that he was still willing to have sex with her. The forum and chat explicitly state that any gossip or disparaging remarks about other users will not be tolerated. It seems that that rule only applies to the working ladies.
A friend of mine had a Perth client who dangled the prospect of a review over her head in exchange for paying only $300 per hour, less than half her advertised rate, telling her that ‘If you were smart you’d do it because it will help her business.’ This guy also wanted her to do an outcall on his boat for free, but she would have the pleasure of being on his boat so that’s fair, right?
I was trolled on a PP forum about natural oral. I don’t do it, no judgement on those SWs who do, I just don’t want to take that risk. I went in to detail about the risks involved as well. One reply that stands out in memory is ‘If you’re so risk-averse, why are you in this industry to begin with?’ To me, that’s like asking a construction worker why he wears a hard hat. That plus other responses just reeked of entitlement. I got the impression that all of them were thinking, ‘How dare you charge for sex and refuse to provide natural oral.’ I talked to one of the moderators about the author of the above comment and his response was along the lines of, yes other ladies have complained about him but he actually books ladies so…
I still search my name from time to time out of curiosity and so that I can thank those who do review me. I think one of the reasons that I haven’t had any bad reviews yet is because I insist on clients calling me to make bookings which gives me a chance to get to know them, albeit very briefly. I simply hang up on callers who give me a bad feeling, making lame excuses is too much effort. But then again, never say never, right?
I’m also lucky to be based in Perth, PP isn’t as big here as it is over east, it seems. Most clients just find me via Private Girls. Then again, when I have toured east and contacted PP users who follow me on twitter or emailed to ask me to keep them updated, they were coincidentally too busy that week to see me. I did give notice but it’s too strange a coincidence that they were all too busy. To this day a lot of them still favourite and retweet my tweets and respond to PP reviews about me.
That whole ‘community’ is strange and it’s a shame that there a too many bad eggs out there that are able to make me forget for a minute all the clients I do see, often repeatedly, who treat me with the utmost respect and who, even after paying me, are grateful for my time and effort.
I’ve never been to an escort, but I’ve reviewed both strippers, and massage attendants and I have a few rules.
Never put up a negative review unless I have been defruaded, which thankfully have never happened. People have feeling and the idea that a women I had some sort of sex with (I count tit and handjobs as sex) might read it and is crying makes me sick to my stomach so I’ve never done a review like that.
I like writing positive reviews because 1. I want give her more business and be successful. On a more selfish note I get off on the idea that she’s probably getting fucked by somebody because of my review. I have pimp fantasies I guess, I even bought a pimp hat for halloween once. I’m not a pimp in RL, I’m a landscaper.
2. I enjoy the story telling, I like taking people on the journey with me, to drink my joy, and really enjoy the experience, and I write accordingly.
3. Its a way to reexperience it for me.
4. I never use peoples real life names, just thier stage names.
5. Reread number 1 again.
Is it weird that I got turned on by your blog post?
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I’ve got a lot of sympathy for the girls who see their business suffer because of one particularly scathing review.
Anybody can have an ‘off day’, and it’s by no means a guarantee that two will tango. If you don’t like the service provided, then by all means avoid that girl in future. But I think a lot of guys underestimate the damage they can do with a few poorly thought out comments. What the guy may have forgotten about by the morning, is likely to stay on the Internet a lot longer.
Thanks for the post!
Naughty Tatyana said:
Reblogged this on .
I’ve written a couple of reviews on PP when I lived in Australia and a couple on AW now I’m in the UK. The first one I wrote regarding a brothel in Brisbane was well received by the owner and the girls involved that they complimented me on it when I returned. I am fortunate to have had good experiences and have used the opportunity to write positives about the ladies and venues in question. I don’t go into heaps of details, but enough to indicate that the service was of great quality. In any service industry, to my mind good service should be acknowledged and more business comes from positive word if mouth (or keyboard) than advertising.
If I did have a lesser experience I doubt I’d put finger to keyboard, it may have been just an off day and not a true reflection, until that happens I’ll not really know. I wouldn’t want to be mean and ruin a reputation based on one event.
I’ve found reviews helpful and not so helpful, I’ve seen some that have been deliberate attempts to trash a reputation which is not nice or necessary. There are some terrible souls out there. I do look to make my own mind up when there’s conflicting reviews.
I’ve enjoyed writing the reviews, it’s a chance to relive the experiance, as there’s no way I’m telling anyone in my life, it’s the best opportunity I’ve got to share. If it gets the lady more work, then that’s surely a bonus.
BTW. Love the blog, intelligent, amusing and honest, makes me want to come home.
What I forgot was that AdultWork allows feedback on the client as well. I’ve seen a few negative reviews flicked back onto clients for whatever reason.
Joanne yiakoumis said:
Studio 23 brothel men dont waste ur time money its a rip off it a dirty brothel and girl are ugly
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Really fascinating insight into independent escorting. I’m with an agency and we don’t really get a chance to use that kind of services…Will make a note for the future!
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Ryan Hogan said:
Honestly I’m a PP member of the den section and it’s absolutely nothing special. I actually read this blog prior to getting granted access to the den and 12 months ago when I got the private message from the PP moderator inviting me to access this so called secret boys club I was super excited with anticipation of getting my mind blown with hedonistic tales of wild abandon involving working girls who fuck wilder harder and were mattress actresses a whole level above the sex workers being reviewed in the open forum or at least I expected to find a section of the den dedicated to a more open discussion of massage shops offering extras without all the cryptic descriptions used to describe a shop’s name and location.
But the treasure troves of insider intel and red hot tips to find better than average service providers compared to the majority of the moderatedly priced Melbourne based brothel and massage workers I had previously discovered thanks to PP didn’t appear in the den secret VIP forum section.
A small part of me was expecting to read reviews of bareback full service (not that I am a punter keen to track down a working girl willing to risk her health in order to earn a quick few bucks) but contrary to the critics of escort review forums they’re wasn’t one review in the den section of PP detailing a punter engaging in sex bareback with working girl. Yeah there was heated discussion of high class escorts charging big money per hour and not doing BBBJ OR DFK but any discussion of hookers who will offer babe back sex is strictly forbidden in the den just as much as the rest of the punter planet forum.
Any threads or posts asking for advice on finding escorts guaranteed to fuck natural get deleted by PP moderator’s. I’m sure guy’s discuss between each other via the private message system hookers that let them push inside with no condom on but one thing I won’t mention online under any circumstances is if a regular hooker stuck me in bareback. Even if I only pushed in and out for a few minutes just enjoying the feeling and wasn’t at all close to cumming inside Somethings shouldn’t be shared online.
For a secret forum section of a sex industry related forum the den was actually pretty tame.
Most of the reviews were continuations of popular reviews already done in the open section of PP that were written to emphasize how good a choice the punt was.
Overall most of the comments and topics in the den were related to high class escorts who were a pleasure or pain to book.
That and intel for punters who travel overseas for business regularly and appreciate a working girl who speaks good English and is discreet when visiting a hotel after the days meetings or conferences are finished.
To me I gained nothing from getting access to the den and it’s actually the most quiet section on PP.
Take it from me PP still gets boring eventually even if you are privileged enough to get given access to the den.